the big one-9

oh my gosh. i'm old. haha, ok so maybe 19 isn't really that old, but 20 is sure sneaking up on me quick! haha. i was slightly nervous about my first birthday away from home on sunday but my friends made sure it was a good one! i'm so lucky to have such amazing people surrounding me. i love em! so here are some pictures from the day's celebration activities.

the first official 19 year old picture.

brittnee decorated the apartment for me =]

dustin utilizing all that hair he has!

a birthday cheesecake, just like always!

the "homemade tampon" uhhh which was code-word between
amanda and brittnee for those little cupcakes. so they actually
stuck one in one of the cupcakes. the boys were blushin'.

the gentlemen.

brittnee. who just so happens to be my BFE.
(best friend eternal)
she's the one that made the day so fun!

amanda and jamie from downstairs. oh gosh.

brittnee's gift to me. i've wanted this bracelet forever!!!
mine is the pink one. obviously.

in approximately 17 hours...

i will be HOME. for longer than 2 days! i can't even explain how amazing it will be. i have so much planned yet it will be absolutely relaxing. i get to see so many people that i miss. i will get to be in the middle of nowhere. i will drive the roads and look at the mountains and smell the scent of home that i miss so much. i hate even admitting that i miss little Firth, but i do! i can't wait to just lay on the couch in the living room and talk to my dad. ah, this is going to be heaven. oh yeah, and the water will taste normal =)

wedding bells...

last weekend my cousin blake got married to an adorable girl, sam. the wedding was cute and i'm so happy for them! so congrats to blake and sam! here's some pictures from aunt tani's house before the wedding...

its for the cause

so one more thing roger also got me interested in is To Write Love On Her Arms. it is an amazing organization dedicated to helping those with depression, addiction, those who self-injure, and those who consider suicide. check out www.twloha.com and read through it. there is an awesome story and facts all about the organization. today is the national TWLOHA day so some friends and i showed our support =)

p.s. the website also has adorable products like shirts and hoodies, with the profits going to help the cause. i have a bag that i use to haul my school stuff around and i LOVE it.

o.m.h.

last weekend was amazing, to say the least. on friday night i went to a SPILL CANVAS concert in ogden. for those of you who don't know, the spill canvas is hands down my favorite band ever. this was my first time seeing them live and i was just about to pass out...they are AMAZING. i went with lindsay, one of my best friends that is going to utah state this year, her boyfriend casey, her sister camille, and their friend kinzie. they are all addicts too.

so, i'm about to my nightly excitement level just seeing them perform and then.... i got to meet them! and have them sign my shirt! and take a picture with me! yeah.... heavenly.

so i drove back to firth friday night after the concert and got there about 2:30 in the morning. i'm pro at the whole driving late thing =) staurday was Jenny's brithday & i cannot believe she is getting so stinkin' old! i love that girl. saturday was also my good friend roger's baptism, the whole reason this weekend even happened for me. i don't even know how to describe roger...he is a completely talented musician, he is one of the happiest people i know, he is brilliant and motivated, he has introduced me to most of the music i now call my favorite... he is such an awesome guy and i am so excited for him! i didn't get any pictures at the baptism but here is just one of roger that i have.

saturday night i was able to go to idaho falls and i got to see sonja! then i got to spend some quality time with my little brother zane who is getting way too big way too fast. he is a goober and loves taking pictures, i guess him and ky must do it alot.

sunday i got to see my ashley!!! and chill with the firth family.

so, last weekend was a blast, i'm gald i got to go and now i'm even more stoked for thanksgiving! which ps, its so weird to me that my semester is almost over! crazy! i'm all registered for next semester but after that i guess we'll have to see what happens...

sorry all.

i was frustrated. disregard that last post. i've talked about it with a few people, including my dad, and i've chaged my mind. i'll be open to change, i'll trust someone i don't know, i'll be willing to adapt. america is amazing no matter what, and i apologize for being so rash.

halloweenie

so halloween was a little different in provo, just cause i wasn't at the goshen church trunk-or-treating and i didn't get to sneak up to sister dial's house but it was still fun. the roommates and i sort of procratinated the whole costume thing until the night of so when we went to wal-mart they were pretty much wiped out of all cute costume-y stuff. so in the end, ryan and i were princesses, britt was a cat [kind of], jessica was a secret agent, and shandon was a gangster[?] it was still fun though! oh and yes, that man i'm with in the picture does in fact have a fake mullet...he was also wearing shorty shorts and tall socks but they didn't make it into the photo =)

in case you didn't know

ryan and i are essentially the same girl. its pretty funny. this picture just illustrates my point. this is us this morning....yeah. kinda crazy.

some pictures from the week

laying it all out.

i'm still loaded down. after trying most everything i still feel like i'm sinking in this ocean i didn't know existed. so i'm going to just run through what i'm feeling, maybe being totally straightforward about it will help. it's worth a try, right?

Amy Jo is....

CoNfUsEd?
i have no clue...whatsoever...what i'm doing with my life. i can't decide on a major and i don't know where i'll be next year. i like Provo but i don't have that feeling that i'm supposed to be here. my dad called me "flitty" today, but really, maybe i'm just...

scared.
the idea that my decisions now are going to affect my LIFE and that every semester of school i go through is costing me thousands of dollars... its terrifying. i'm afraid of going about this whole "adult" thing wrong. i'm scared i'm going to miss an opportunity. and i worry about it, which makes me...

TireD
i haven't been on a normal sleep schedule in months. i lay in bed and think, sometimes i cry, sometimes i'm happy, it just depends on the day. i try to picture where i'm going. i try to see if i'm making myself happy. if i'm doing what i'm supposed to. when i lay all night thinking it leads to me being slightly...

iRRitable
i feel bad, but in all honestly, i've been a beast lately. i'm on edge and everything frustrates me. luckily, i haven't taken it out on anyone but myself, but that still isn't good. i've started to break myself down with every passing day. telling myself that i'm not good enough or that i can't do everything that i have planned. i'm hurting myself by doing this. so i've been pretty...

sad.
all of this is just making me overall a very unhappy person. i don't want to be though. i love being happy and feeling genuinely good about myself. but the events in my life as of late haven't exactly been of the joyous sort. but through it all, i have to remind myself that i am extremely...

bLessEd
i have so many blessings that i overlook everyday. i have a family that loves me. a dad that still helps me get through the day. a little sister that knows exactly what to write to me in her letters. a big sister that is constantly reminding me that i CAN do it. i'm at an amazing university. i have endless possibilities of what i can do with my life. i have roommates that stick by me even when i'm grumpy. i have the chance to serve in my ward with amazing girls. i get to look at the mountains and the changing leaves every day and see the world go through its natural stages of beauty. i have friends that still call and text to see how i'm doing. i have the gospel in my life. which always manifests that i am...

A PrincesS
i literally am a daughter of my Heavenly Father. he loves me so much and i know he cares for me. individually. he listens to me when i pray and he lifts my burdens. he worries about what i worry about and cries when i cry. he notices every tear and every sigh. even when i try to tell myself i can do it "by myself" i know that the Lord is helping me. he really does love me. every bit of me. the rebellious part. the goofy part. the sad part. i know that through this trying time in my life, he is there. all i need to do is ask.

so yeah, i'm gonna blubber....

today in relief society we had a lesson on keeping in touch with our families. and it made me a little sentimental.... i love it here but i miss being home too, watching all the little ones that aren't even little anymore grow up. when i talk to them on the phone i get all sad cause i realize that i'm not there for any of this important stuff in their lives. so i just want them to know that i love them and i think about them ALL the time. so alicia, when you read this, spread the word. also to blubber about... tonight i headed out to craig and cori's house. i love them so stinkin much. it was ethans first birthday so i got to go out for the dinner and celebrations =] it is sooooo nice to be able to just drive out there and relax. when i'm there i can just talk to craig and cori about all my frustrations and they understand every single bit of it. they reassure me that i'm ok and that i'm not abnormal for having this totally confused feeling. tonight craig also gave me a blessing. i'm so lucky that i have him so close by. i have been loaded down with all my worries and stresses and i was honestly getting to the point where i wasn't sure i could handle it anymore. so thank you to craig, he saved the day. =] i love you both so much and i'm blessed to have such amazing family and a wonderful cousin worthy of his priesthood for times like this. i needed it.

oh the studying.

what do you get when you mix 2 eighteen year old girls, a couple rockstar energy drinks, and a bunch of american heritage notes? yep. one amazing cram session. i'm running on approximately 5 hours of sleep from tuesday night. =] but hey, the good news is that ryan and i both passed our american heritage midterms. be proud.

a very good waste of 10 bucks....

so ever since i moved out i've been a little more aware of where my money is going and i've been trying my very hardest to cut out non-essentials. BUT i could not resist when the new anberlin cd came out...i hopped right onto itunes and bought it. and i'm completely satisfied. i LOVE anberlin. they are my favorite band everrrrr. so if you're looking for something to spend 10 bucks on, i'd highly suggest it. =]

ooh pretty

so ever since i joined yearbook my freshman year of high school i've had this obsession with photoshop, its just such a cool program! well ashley's aunt [sherelle] showed her Adobe Lightroom and the information got passed along to me. you can download a free trial at www.adobe.com it is so much fun! you can change lighting effects and general coloring of photos. its so much better if you get new presets for it though so go to google and type in "lightroom presets" and there are tons of free ones. these are just some pictures that i randomly grabbed from my laptop and messed with...